More Newspaper Headlines

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young
husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on
his wife with himself as the beneficiary, & then arranging to have her
killed.
  
  A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side
underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained
to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

  The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't
have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

  Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened
his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.

  Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar
as down payment for the dirty deed.

  A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super
Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department &
proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting
woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor.........the manager of the
produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to
leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle
the produce manager as well.

  However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden
security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who
immediately called the police.

  Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store. Under
intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan,
including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was
also quickly arrested.

  The next day in the newspaper,
  the headline declared ...


  (You're going to hate me for this ... )
  
  

  

  'ARTIE CHOKES
  2 for a $1.00
  AT WAL-MART!'

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