Words Of Wisdom From A Man!

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.
 
2. Consider your birth certificate as an apology letter from the condom factory.
 
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
 
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
 
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
 
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
 
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
 
8. Great news . . . Virginity can be cured !!!
 
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
 
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
 
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
 
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
 
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
       A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
 
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she     was happy with the Thing......
 
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
      A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't want to.
 
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
      A: Breasts don't have eyes.
 
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!