Valentines day

If SHE wants to sleep with him, then it's a date HE pays.

If SHE doesn't want to sleep with him and if SHE's a nice person who wants the "just friends" message to get through loud and clear SHE pays for herself and insists on it.

If SHE doesn't want to sleep with him and if SHE's a nice person but HE's rich HE pays but SHE offers.

If SHE doesn't want to sleep with him, SHE's not a nice person, and HE's rich HE pays.

If SHE doesn't want to sleep with him, SHE's not a nice person, and HE's not rich HE pays.

If HE pays but SHE doesn't want to seem like a freeloader SHE offers to help, HE refuses, SHE says she'll get the drinks or coffee later.

If HE's cheap HE asks her to split the bill.

If HE's broke, they're close, SHE's not a nice person, and they're going to a good place SHE feigns indifference to the financial catastrophe that awaits him. HE pays.

If HE's broke, they're close, SHE's a nice person, and they're going to a good place SHE slips him the money before they get to the restaurant.

If HE's broke, they're close, SHE's nice, and they're going to a cheap place SHE pays.

If HE's broke, they're close, SHE's not nice, and they're going to a cheap place SHE suddenly realizes that SHE has to stay home and wash her hair...forever.

If SHE asked him out, it's his birthday, and they're in love SHE pays.

If SHE asked him out but HE knows what's good for him SHE starts to pay, HE protests, SHE gives in.

If HE's a guy with any interest in seeing her again HE pays.

...and finally...

If HE asked her out and SHE protests, but HE insists; they go to a romantic but expensive restaurant where he has ordered the best of everything and even the gypsy violinists; then on the way home SHE develops a headache... they're married

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